Competing Hypnotizability Scales (Short Story) {Part II}

                                                                                                Word Count: 1132

     “So the orangutan behavior study is almost finished?” asked Jennifer, who felt sad about this fact.  “Last month you said it felt like your childhood with Conrad. Those monkeys throwing excrement at you whenever you stepped into the research cage.”

     “Growing up with Mr. Inadequatewas worse. I could understand some of what he said.”

     “Now, now Kenneth.”

     “Actually I’m quite pleased to be so close to finishing my Tanzanian research.  Based on my most recent findings, I’ve come up with a scale that quantifies the behavior of various subjects.”

     Jennifer took the bait. “Tremendous.  I’ll assume after you publish your results, you might even be able to modify the scale to fit all kinds of animals?”

     “One of my colleagues suggested that too.  He said I should think about applying the scale to the behavioral patterns of human subjects.  Sounds fascinating so I’ll do it.”

     Once that was carried out, Dr. Reginald Wonderment suggested Kenneth begin applying his scale to the behavioral patterns of human subjects after they’d been put in a hypnotic trans. Wonderment didn’t know Kenny had a brother on the left coast that was developing his own psychological scale to quantify the effects on human subjects after they’d been placed under hypnosis. Had he a passing knowledge of the Leyendecker brother’s stormy, but colorful sibling rivalry, quite possibly he would have thought twice about making this suggestion.

     On the other hand, maybe he would have. Reginald Wonderment had developed perverse attractions to the sport of pugilism, Chinese Kung-Fu movies, WWE smack downs, and the lively art of scientific debate with its accompanying researcher animosity.

     The Leyendecker Hypnotizability Quotient, or LHQ as it was referred to by academics in Para-psychology, caught fire like gasoline at Burning-ManFestival. Specifically as a way to quantify the effectiveness of change on a subject after the hypnotic state they’d were in. Over a one-year period, academics everywhere talked about the influences of the LHQ and its usefulness in hypnotic research. Most of them anyway.

    “What do you mean this behavioral scale has gone straight to the top?? Asked Conrad into the telephone receiver. “I was pleasantly surprised six months ago to hear you tell me he was slamming up against the proverbial brick wall with his research.”

     A look of mild frustration crossed Jennifer’s face “You weren’t really listening just now because I told you it involved Kenneth, were you? Sometimes I think everything I say about your brother immediately goes in one ear and straight out the other.”

     Conrad wished his mother could see the smile on his face. “Your point being.  Well I’m  working on my own behavioral scale, and I bet you mine is more successful than Brain-Dead’s.”

     In actuality it wasn’t, and the next day Conrad was forced to swallow his pride. A colleague named Eunice Crowley mentioned that she’d heard about a new scale for measuring hypnosis effectiveness.

     “According to the article in this month’s Hypnosis-Psychosis Newsletter, the scientist who invented it calls the formula an LHQ, or Leyendecker Hypnotizability Quotient,” said Eunice.  “Didn’t you say you’ve got a brother named Kenneth?  Not the same guy who invented this scale?”

     This forced Conrad into an awkward position. Previously he mentioned to Eunice that he had a twin brother, but this same brother was institutionalized for schizophrenia at an early age. The result of a rampage with his Mr. Winky Doll in kindergarten.

     “I am related to the guy who invented this LHQ,” said Conrad.  “But we’re only second cousins, three times removed. We haven’t seen each other in many years.”

     “Well you two should get together and you can get the inside LHQ scoop.  Maybe some of the information he gives you will help with your own research?”

     That’s precisely what he did. After swallowing his pride a second time and asking Jennifer about getting together with his brother.  This created unintended consequences during the conversation with his mother.

     A genuine look of concern showed on Conrad’s face.  “You alright mom? When I asked for Kenny’s phone number the line suddenly went dead on me.”

     “I’m better now Conrad,” said Jennifer. “That medication I’m taking for my migraines must’ve caused my sudden fainting spell.”

     “Well have it looked into if you feel like passing out again. So tell me what you know

about this behavioral scale Brain Dead came up with?”

      Conrad’s fears were realized. The LHQ Kenny invented was becoming a huge success and he now decided to branch off into the field of Para-psychology with an emphasis on hypnosis research.  Worst of all, his brother’s academic reputation was now flying higher than a kid locked for the night in a Sweet-tooth shop.

     Some individuals upon hearing this news might become aggravated, despondent, and even suicidal, but not Conrad.  Instead he took a more analytical approach. Justifying it to himself by reasoning that the best way to defeat thy enemy is to know thy enemy.

     “So mom,” asked Conrad.  “We’re all set for the family reunion?”

     Jennifer looked annoyed. “Yes Conrad, I’ve told you three times Kenny will be there. I think I should mention that at first he didn’t want to attend when I said you’d be present.”

     “That’s odd, why would he do that?”

     For the first time ever Kenneth and Conrad visited with one another politely. Jennifer thought she saw a herd of pigs flying that night, but concluded it was just the effects of the alcohol she chose to deaden her senses with.

     Kenny explained the theory and basis behind the LHQ and the feasibility of using it in hypnosis research. He dominated the conversation for a variety of reasons.  1. Because Conrad kept asking questions, and 2. Because his brother kept going to the bathroom.  Kenneth had no idea Conrad was secretly tape recording their exchange for future reference and litigation purposes.

     “Quite amazing,” remarked Kenny to his mother. “Mr. Inadequate kept asking me

questions about my LHQ. I’ve never seen anything like it from him.”

    “The entire evening?” asked Jennifer.

    ”Every half hour or so he kept excusing himself to go to the John.”

    “Strange?”

     “Not really. Why do you think I call him Mr. Inadequate? Conrad’s bladder is small in addition to all his other anatomical deficiencies.”

     Four months later Dr. Conrad Leyendecker published his research findings. He started out by reviewing his discoveries for a group of subjects placed under deep hypnosis, conclusions he’d drawn from his experiments, then revealed how his new, innovative, hypnosis measurement scale can be applied in research.  Conrad was extremely careful to cover all his tracks, and ended by calling his new hypnosis scale a Hypnotic Ability Factor, or HAF.