The Incredible Power of Magazine Articles + Imagination
June 10, 2016
Collecting The Laughs – Part V
July 8, 2016
This is an essay that I’m keeping my fingers crossed and hoping the publisher of the local newspaper (Silverton Standard & Miner) will publish in his paper next Thursday. All systems are go for the book signing party next Friday night at my friend’s art gallery. Should be lots of fun, although I am a bit nervous about my earlier efforts to promote the event as a FREE FOOD affair. That joke could turn around and back fire on me, and we’ll see how things go. I’ll get back to you on that one.
Adrenaline Only
Takes you so Far
I’ve developed a sort of Love/Hate relationship with the 4th of July holiday here in Silverton. Unlike some people who like to hear the “bad” news first, let’s look at the “Love” part of this equation first. After all, from a writer’s perspective looking at the “Hate” parts of the story is more fun, and therefore a more interesting part of the discussion. I’m sort of justified in doing it this way.
The 4th is so much fun. Year in and year out my older sister comes up with these elaborate designs for a family float. Always Silverton history themed, and more often than not poking fun at some aspect of our town. This alone is a big reason why I’m such a fan of the family 4th float.
Everyone in our tribe (except yours truly-laziness being a huge part of the equation) pitches in with its production. Actual design and building of certain parts can take up to a month before the holiday. Assembly logistics being a huge part of this extravanza.
Then the morning of the big day, my brother-in-law gets up before the butt crack of dawn and begins putting the parts together. An hour later, I’m usually just coming back from participation in the 4th 10K race (maybe that explains my laziness?), and by the time I show up on the scene, assembly of everything is already in full swing. Other sisters and various family members are ordering people around, activity is happening at a feverous pitch, and my best option during this stage of the operation is to stand back and do a credible wallflower impersonation. I achieve this objective by eating breakfast and watching assembly enfold.
Costumes are put on, final touches to the vehicle are made, and we’re ready to display our efforts. The float is driven up the street, given a prominent spot towards the front, and the waiting begins. Behavior at this stage of the operation is analogous to a toddler just before their first trip to Disneyland.
An extremely important activity during this stage is for some of us to walk around and check out other entrants for possible awards that day. The parade begins, cheap plastic necklaces and candy is thrown at spectators, and this leads to sugar intake levels for people below the age of ten reaching dangerously high marks.
After the parade ends, things seem to get odd. In the past I’ve gone from volunteering at one activity to another. The pattern has me assisting with the libraries’ 4thRhubarb Festival sale, and then walking over to the creek just in time to assist with the Ducky Derby.
I still have never been able to carry out my main objective during the pie sale. Setting up a betting pool amongst fellow pastry purveyors to pinpoint the exact moment when our first customer walks through the line only to ask if we’ve got anything for sale that doesn’t have Rhubarb in it.
The Ducky Derby is highlighted by standing in Cement Creek water which consists of temperatures two or three degrees above freezing, setting up the finishing shoot for our plastic competitors, and trying to look organized. This hasn’t always been easy, but my past experiences as a Swimming Hole enthusiast here in the San Juans has provided me with an enhanced level of cold-water tolerance. Ice bucket challenge? How easy is that.
Unfortunately my job at the restaurant hasn’t allowed me to volunteer for these last two events within the past four years. From a commercial standpoint the 4th of July holiday here in Silverton (like a lot of other resort towns) has turned into the biggest day of the year in terms of business for these tourist-based enterprises. This makes total sense since things are crazy with thousands of visitors in town celebrating the holiday. Many of them here to view the spectacular fireworks display on the night of the 4th.
This brings us to my final observation. My restaurant job always turns into a ten or eleven hour work shift of controlled madness. Similar in scope to all those years I used to work as a volunteer for the local radio station beer booth during the Telluride Blue Grass Festival. From the moment I came on shift till three hours later after it ended, more often than not we were incredibly busy. People attending these music festivals here in the 4-corners (particularly if the weather is sunny and warm-as often happens at this time of year) buy and consume a lot of the fermented suds. “They want their beer, and they want it now.” as the folks in St Louis like to say. Lots of sales. Logic dictates that business would be one small step above total controlled chaos during most work shifts.
The 4thhere in our little village in the mountains is no exception. The last few years after coming off shift I’m dead tired, and as one of my college buddies used to say, “Cruising down the highway on fumes.” Adrenaline can only take you so far, and eventually all you want to do is fall into the sweet embrace of sleep.
On the 4ththis can happen no matter where you’re planting your derriere. Including sitting on a street corner while watching the fireworks display, which has happened twice. Can’t wait for a repeat performance of this behavior.
A book signing party for Mr. Swanson’s recently published volume of memoirs (“Silverton Style”) is scheduled for tomorrow night at the Blue Raven Art gallery here in Silverton from 6:30 pm till 9:00. A number of notable dignitaries including Pope Francis, the Dalai Lama, and the ghosts of Elvis, Michael Jackson, and David Bowie have been invited. Because of logistical problems, as well as various other previous commitments all of these individuals will be unable to attend.
This should not deter you from participation in the affair. By your attending this book signing party, you will gain the deep satisfaction that can only come with contributing to Mr. Swanson’s ultimate goal of achieving worldwide domination.
