The Comic Book Morality Conundrum (Short Story) {Part I}

                                                                                    Word Count: 904       

      So let’s say that in order to climb up another rung on the ladder towards achieving your goals in life, some other poor shmuck needs to fail at reaching his hoped for objectives? You’ve got this golden opportunity to advance things beyond your typical delusional fantasies, but in order to do this, the guy you just met has to stumble and bumble miserably. Not such a difficult task for some people to pull off since they heard about morals once when out of curiosity they decided to tag along with an acquaintance to their weekly catechism class. You’re on a slightly higher plane of virtue though, so moving one step forward, at the expense of two steps back for the other guy just doesn’t sound quite as appealing.

     Nicolas Dorfmeister confronted a confusing riddle such as this, and it resulted in a few sleepless nights and some extensive soul searching on Nick’s part. Even an early decision to cancel a business transaction that might’ve helped him. Now if you’re the successful, but greedy C.E.O. of a Fortune 500 company, you might be thinking to yourself what kind of an idiot is this Dorfmeister dude? More like a dim bulb meister as far as you’re concerned. Another prime example of the American public losing its killer instinct, and sliding one more precarious step further down the slope of mediocrity.

     Nicolas learned the wonders of pictures combined with written words at an early age when he began looking at, then reading his older brother’s comics. Pretty soon Nick started collecting his own funny books, and eventually that led to his assemblage becoming bigger, grander, and more diversified than his sibling’s.

     He wanted to take things beyond the casual hobby collection stage, and thought about starting his own comic book distribution business while sitting through the first day of his high school civics class. Nick was all of fifteen at the time though, so opening up a shop devoted to the sale of comic books and their related paraphernalia seemed like someone wanting to climb Everest while dressed in their favorite beach thong and comfortable sandals.

     If nothing else, Nick was a persistent individual, so the dream stuck with him all through high school, college, and into his post-graduate years. He majored in business administration with this in mind at a later stage after figuring out a way to pay back his student loans. He even kept collecting comic books into his 30’s too, but that had more to do with a latent desire to hold onto his youth and basically ignore adulthood responsibilities whenever possible.

     Nick’s desire to one day open his own comic book store led to a stimulating conversation between his father, Calvin, and older brother, Nigel. Some not so stimulating too.

     “So Nick’s student loan pay back just went below $5,000.00 with his latest installment,” said Nigel. “Even though it pains me to say it, the kid is getting everything taken care of. The thought of it makes me sick. Can’t stand it.”

    “Actually I wish I could’ve helped him out more,” said Calvin rather sheepishly. “Then again,

making a living as a Clown-for-Hire isn’t exactly the greatest of careers.”

     “I’ll agree with you on that one dad and leave it there. So why do we have to eat all these peaches within the next week or so?”

     “Because your mother is no longer with us and I don’t know how to can this case and a half of the fruit I got from that organic farmer’s convention last month.”

      “Some of these ones toward the bottom of the box are rather soft. Then again things could be worse.  At least they don’t smell that bad like all those avocados we got last year. Why can’t you do a gig at a Twinkie factory or something like that?”

     “Then we’d have the opposite problem and be eating the same thing every day until sometime in the next year or so.”

     Nigel reached for a knife to cut out the over-ripeness. “Not necessarily. They’d probably last until sometime in the next millennium.”

     “True. Aren’t Twinkies manufactured with a prolonged shelf life?”

     “Probably. You ever done your act at a cookie factory?”

     “Once, but they never gave me any free samples when all was said and done. So what did Nick tell you he wants to do after all his loans are paid off?”

     “Open up that comic book store he’s been talking about since the day he discovered duct tape can solve a multitude of repair problems.”

     “Still obsessed with that one is he? Did he tell you if he’s got any prospects as far as where he wants to locate the store?”

     “He said there’s the possibility of a store front just off the mall downtown.”

     “Good idea. If it was on the mall, then the rent would go up a couple hundred dollars.”

     “More like a couple thousand dad. Isn’t Cherry Blossom Avenue code for “Real Estate

Inflation?”

     “Probably. All I know is that it’s an extremely popular location to take the wife and kids for a day without television and a perverse, but persistent desire to spend lots of money. Something none of the Dorfmeister clan seems to have much of.”

     “No matter how hard any of us seems to work at it either.”

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