Due the fact that my buddy was out of the country owing to his involvement in a graduate level sugar-cane monitoring project for CU-Anschutz, we postponed our annual birthday ski trip to the end of February this year. This year’s birthdays also happened to be the big “65” for both of us, so in that respect it was very special. Halfway around the globe to Hokkaido, Japan? What a coincidence that it happens to be the snowiest place on earth. Why not?                                               Word Count: 1,151

2024-Year #6 of the

Cootenanny

I was originally planning to name this essay something entirely different, relating to a certain acronym (J.A.K.F.U.) first coined by a fellow Peace Corps-Kenya forestry colleague all those years ago as a crude description of the project we were involved in. Choosing to take the moral high-ground instead, I elected to pick “Cootenanny”. A term coined by my friend’s son when he talked to his dad over the phone. The kid happens to be obsessed with bad puns, and asked his father just how our annual ski trip, or cootenanny as he referred to it, was progressing. “Coots” relating to the two of us being slightly advanced in our ages, (a few years short of telling the local kids to, “Stay off our lawn…”) and“nanny” being a take-off on the old “hootenanny” way of celebrating… Cootenanny seems like a rather apropos description of our annual ski adventure.

In a word, this year’s Hokkaido trip was “amazing”. Looking at it in retrospect, it had to be in order to make up for all the effort it took just to get there.

First, you’ve got the fact that it’s a long-ass way to travel. Requiring yours truly to get up at 3:00 am to make my early morning flight out of Durango. CO. Then you’ve got the flight from Denver to Tokyo, which the two of us had the total pleasure of experiencing. This flight is a 12 Hr. funfest that involves the loss of a day. Finally, you’ve got the domestic flight to Sapporo that you experience from the first of your guaranteed jet-lag semi-conscious states.

Did I mention that the flight to Japan is a barrel of laughs? Should you want to do any sort of yoga stretching during the flight, this endeavor is analogous to swimming laps from the inside of a Jacuzzi. Then you’ve got the sleep thing? Sort of like those stretching exercises, actually. More fun than some people have in a year.

Once we got to Sapporo we made the mistake of taking a train ride from the airport to our hotel in downtown Sapporo. Getting from the train station to our hotel should’ve only taken about a half-hour, but it didn’t. Instead, we lugged our skis and luggage while fighting off the jet-lag, the fact that everything is in Japanese, and you’ve got these massive piles of snow everywhere. Finding the hotel ended up taking the two of us a little longer to get there than anticipated. My buddy claims I wandered right past the hotel in a state of semi-consciousness while doing my best zombie impersonation. Because he has no video-tape evidence to back up his claims, in retrospect I shall deny this physical act on my part ever happened.

After two days in Sapporo adjusting to our surroundings, we took a train to Niseko and the whole reason we put ourselves through the physical abuse to get to Hokkaido in the first place; skiing, skiing, and more skiing.

After our Niseko skiing odyssey, I’ve come to the conclusion that if a person owns a company that makes P-tex on the island of Hokkaido, they’ll soon be applying for the Japanese version of Chapter 11-bankrupcy. All that snow makes for very few bare spots. Rocks, what rocks?

What it does make for are some gale-force windy conditions though. Of the four days we spent skiing, the lifts at the top of the mountain were only open for one of those days. Lots of the white stuff. Except for that day that required us to ski on instinct through a fog-bank that gave new meaning to the term, “thick as pea soup”. Coupled that with winds the intensity of an air tunnel set on #11, we still had a lot of fun. Didn’t really have any low-pressure fronts moving through with additional snow totals while we were there, but the skiing was still pretty good.

This annual Birthday ski trip has turned into a regular thing, and despite the fact that I’m experiencing inordinate amounts of emotional abuse during a week-long span of time, I find myself looking forward to the experience year in, and year out. Glutton for punishment? Masochist-in-training? You tell me. Actually, that “masochist-in-training” moniker doesn’t really apply to yours truly, since according to some folks, I’ve turned being a masochist into a normal part of my personality for the better part of my existence on this planet.

The Japanese people are some of the nicest folks I’ve ever had the pleasure of interacting with. Very courteous, polite, and willing to help these foreigner-types at the drop of a hat. What a pleasure to experience their culture.

An incredibly clean environment too. Ironically enough, we were unable to find very many trash cans while doing all that wandering in Sapporo and Niseko. This leads me to conclude that the Japanese clean-to-an-extreme culture makes the Swiss people look like a bunch of hoarder-type slobs.

Then you’ve got the food, which is pretty good. The two of us deliberately avoided the U.S. Embassy (McDonald’s) throughout the trip and ate at a lot of traditional Japanese restaurants instead. Lots of Ramen, a Japanese Hot-pot place, one or two sushi joints, and lots of exploring at the Japanese version of 7-11 stores.

The Japanese version of a lot of the Chinese food I used to eat in my youth was a veritable pleasure. The bean paste bums I ate in profuse amounts stands out in my mind, and I ate more than my fair share of the things over a 12-day period. Why don’t they have something similar here in SW Colorado? Altitude might have something to do with baking the buns so I promise not to lose much sleep wondering about this.

Now that I’ve been home for a little less than a week, I can categorically say the Hokkaido ski trip was one incredible adventure. I had to borrow the money from my buddy to pay for my airfare, but it was well worth it. He tells me I’ll just add the cost to the ongoing accumulation of my monthly “Friendship Dues” money I owe him, but I’ll get by.

Once again, I’m reminded of that quote, “Life is not judged by the number of breaths you take, but by the moments that take your breath away.” Lots of breathless moments with this one.