Friendship Highway (the 2-pg. synopsis)
February 5, 2016
Collecting the Laughs (Part IV)
March 4, 2016
My participation in the recently completed San Francisco Writer’s Conference presented me with a perfect opportunity to write about the experience, and that’s exactly what you’re getting on this week’s installment of the blog posting. Lots of fun, despite a few minor challenges during the weekend. Great character building experiences I always say.
Word Count: 1475
Reaching out for that
Brass Carousel Ring
Last weekend was another chapter in the continuing saga that is the “David G. Swanson-Humorous Writer”odyssey. Flew out to San Francisco and attended the writer’s conference that took place from Feb. 11th to the 14th. The conference was great, but had its fair share of strange phenomenon.
Besides having a lot of fun, and meeting and getting to know a wide variety of folks, I also saved myself some money by doing parts of the conference on the cheap. First and foremost, by staying at my cousin’s place in Oakland and riding BART (Bay Area Rapid Transit) into the city. The view alone from his kitchen looking across the bay towards downtown San Fran. is worth it. His place is a bit rustic though since he’s got stacks of papers related to his business all over the place, and the room I slept in has an undersized mattress floating in a queen-sized bed frame. That, plus the fact that he used to cook all his meals with a Coleman Camping Stovemight put some folks off. Since I’m into this type of basic accommodation arrangement, my stay at his house was its usual enjoyable experience. I tend to thrive in these types of simple lodging set-ups.
The trip got off to a somewhat inauspicious start though. Right off the bat when I showed up at the airport in Durango, I couldn’t find my wallet when it came time to board. Panicked as I dug madly through my carry-on and couldn’t find the elusive gem that is my I.D. Turns out that I left my money and cards in my other coat back at the car. Glad to know I’m on the ball when it comes to these vitally important traveling matters.
The missing I.D. didn’t mean much to airport security since they were about ready to take off, so they pulled me aside and put yours truly through an intense interrogation and body frisking. Thankfully it didn’t last that long and in the end wasn’t all that bad either. Even despite the fact that I was asked all sorts of questions related to my past as a CIA operative in Antarctica and bodily searched with a special sand paper coated glove. The plane was about to elevate itself into the Friendly Skies, so they rushed me through and onto the metal tube.
Immediately upon sitting down I realized I’d left the wallet at the car. That didn’t do me much good since the airline folks wouldn’t let me off the plane to go get it. Other than not having any money during the two-hour layover in Phoenix, the rest of the trip out to the left coast was uneventful. Therefore boring, as these traveling experiences tend to go.
The errant wallet fiasco right at the start set a strange pattern for the entire conference, but we’ll get to these further mis-adventures as this essay enfolds. For now though, suffice to say that first day of the conference was a good one. Met a lot of great people, and took part in some fantastic seminars.
Trudging up that hill from the Powell St. BART station is always an enlightening experience too (this is the second time I’ve attended the conference). San Francisco is an incredibly dynamic city, and walking up that hill is easy-living in the Colorado mountains at altitude tends to do that for you.
What my cousin’s domicile in Oakland lacks for in ambiance, the Mark Hopkins Hotel on the top of Nob Hill where the magic happens, more than makes up for in luxury. I’m sure the place is one small step below all those stories you’ve read about grand hotels in other parts of the world. Then again, I really wouldn’t know much about these sorts of environments since I’ve seen some pretty nice self-contained camping tents when you get into the upper $300.00 range.
Day #2 of the conference had a variation on the “errant wallet” specter rearing its ugly head once again. I’m sure most of you have noticed that having one’s cell phone within handy access is pretty much of a given in modern western society these days. What would happen if you didn’t have your trusty smart phone at your side? Luckily you now have David G. Swansonto give you a blow-by-blow recap of this phenomenon. Aren’t you lucky (or unlucky as the case may be).
In my rush to get to the BART station in time to get a good seat for that morning’s Breakfast extravaganza, I rushed out of my cousin’s humble abode, jumped in his car, and we drove down to the commuter train station without me having grabbed the smart phone. You think I would’ve noticed this?
I of course didn’t realize I’d neglected to grab my communication link apparatus till right after I sat down and the train took off. Since life always works that way, this is when these things are always supposed to occur. Little known fact, the change in blood pressure as you sit down forces this unique form of mind wandering to take place. A scientific fact in case you’re wondering.
The second day of the conference was also top-notch. Got lots of opportunities to networked with other attendees, the meals are fancier than that bag of carrots and apple I’ll be chowing down on for lunch next Wednesday, and picked up some vitally info. in order to advance the old writing career. At this point I really began to finalize my pitch strategy.
I’d previously registered for what is commonly referred to as Speed Dating for Literary Agents on the third day of the conference. Besides providing a chance for the prospective scribe to talk about their novel to prospective agents, the session also supplied me with a golden opportunity for my blood pressure to elevate itself a degree or ten.
Speed Dating for Literary Agents is a fast and furious endeavor since the writer is given three minutes to pitch the idea for their novel. Actually shorter than that, as your blurb is basically a short-n-sweet elevator pitch. It’s a good idea to tell the agent about the story within the first minute or so you’re meeting with them, thus giving the agent time to ask questions about the manuscript such as minor details about how the story enfolds, word count, missive size, etc. Other questions related to the conference are also encouraged since the writer is expected to look and act relaxed and casual.
Lets be honest about this thing shall we? You want to of course put your best foot forward with the pitch, and you hope everything falls into place nicely. You try not to be nervous, which is like asking a couch potato not to touch that bag of chips sitting on the nightstand. Life never works the way we want it to, and inevitably there are one or two pitches that fall off the rails faster than a driverless car with its acceleration mode stuck on maximum.
The “errant wallet” phenomenon made an encore appearance one last time during my trip to the conference. As soon as my cousin dropped me off at the BART station bright and early before 7:00 am in order to arrive on time at the Mark Hopkins, because it was Valentines Day in the middle of the 3-Day President’s Weekend, the station didn’t even open till 8:00. The extra time I had was used to maximum efficiency. Gave me precious moments to agonize about my pitch session, and plan a strategy for moving to an isolated island in the South Pacific once the writing career crashes and burns next year.
I didn’t even get to the hotel till just before 9:00, but in the end everything worked out. Even got to pitch the novel in front of six different agents, which is pretty good. In a one-hour session most writers only average five. The four pitches that did go well were quite encouraging.
Now I’m madly getting together a proper query letter to send prospective agents. Hopefully that “SFWC Speed Dating” moniker in the email subject line will help. Let’s keep our fingers crossed. I was proud of myself, too bad with a few minor exceptions, nobody else was.
So was my attendance at the 2016 SFWC worth it? Despite the minor setbacks, which make for good writing fodder by the way, the four-day odyssey was pretty good. I’m really glad I made the effort.
I like to tell people I’ll give up on the writing the day after they’re done shoveling soil onto my permanent dirt nap. 2016-SFWC was another fruitful step along the way. Just make sure to roll with the punches when those “errant wallet” situations take place.
