The following Short Story is a classic example of having lots of back-up essays and other missives to publish on my Website-Blog every two-weeks. The first version of this SS was actually written in fall of 2015, then recently re-written and updated about a month ago. I’ve kept it as a back up for situations like the current one.

 

I just got back from a family funeral in Hawaii, and although I’m currently loaded with all sorts of ideas for essays to write about my experiences, I’m not fast enough to write them down in time to post for today’s regular two week posting. Hence, the following short story for your perusal. Enjoy!!

 

The next posting on 4/18/17 will be a new one. I’ll probably write it this weekend, but it won’t see the radiant light of publication till the middle of the month.                                                                       Word Count: 2993

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Toy

Obsession Giveaway

When you’re going through the adolescent phase of life, certain toys hold a top position on your priority list. A particular miniature car or doll definitely means more to you than just about anything else you possess. You hold onto whatever that unique instrument of entertainment happens to be with a vice-like death grip and the item somehow soothes your psyche.

Many people will even carry this obsession with a certain set of items into Adulthood. Not unlike that real estate broker who nodes off at night with a big smile. The reassuring knowledge that they own majority interest in a prime piece of L.A. beachfront property becomes their toy, thus allowing them a dead-to-the-world, restful, slumber. Life is good and only gets better if that woman in the next cubicle acknowledges their existence.

Now what if the item you’ve recently acquired is something none of the other kids in the neighborhood has ever heard of or seen in action? It’s special precisely because of that fact, but also because you know this toy has already gone through its inevitable popularity phase in the place you just came back from. You won’t mention the fact that that the object is currently moving into the ”Old Hat”, or “Boredom” segment of its existence. No need to bother with mentioning that inconsequential tid bit of information.

Let’s introduce the players in this unfolding drama. Meet Jonathan Morgenstern, eldest son of Richard and Lily. Richard the owner of a mercantile, part-time professional magician, and Lily his trusted assistant. She turned into his significant other and the mother of his children after a riotous night of debauchery. Lots of things in life being of this unplanned variety.

In the fourteen years of his existence Jonathan has led a relatively uneventful childhood with one exception. During the summer months while mom and dad were off engaging in extended road trips with the magic act, Jonathan and his little brother, Jacob, would find themselves visiting their grandparents for extended periods of time.

_______________

The living room of Mildred and Wendell Morgenstern’s house in Arlington, Washington is where we discover the two boys on another rainy Seattle afternoon. When they aren’t discussing matters of national importance, the two of them are contemplating new and innovative ways to waste time. Thus avoiding the relentless grasp of boredom.

“This video game sucks the big one,” said Jake, a look of disgust painted on every inch of his face.

To which Jonathan replied. “I should charge you, but I won’t.”

“Huh, why?”

“You’re damn lucky I’m not going to tell mom and dad what you just said. For a ten year old, it’s kind of amazing how your mouth has squarely deposited itself in the gutter.”

“So, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“Not only do you use all sorts of nasty language, if Gramps and Grammy tried to wash your mouth out with soap, your mind and body would reject it mainly because you enjoy speaking in this manner.”

“And yours wasn’t the same way when you were my age,” said a deviant Jake. “It was probably worse if I know you.”

“Hardly. I spent a lot of my time reading. Therefore I spoke at a higher level of intelligence when I was your age.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that this game Gramps bought me yesterday is one step above dog shit. I think I’ll throw it away when I know he won’t notice.”

Jonathan tried to look authoritative as he said it. “No, don’t do that. When we take it home to “Winthrop” once again you and I will be the most popular kids in the neighborhood right when we get back to town.”

“Why?”

“Because you’ve got the latest toy.”

“This game still sucks.”

“The kids in Winthrop don’t know that. Every time we bring something back from the bright lights of the big city all the other adolescent units treat us like we’re their latest God.”

“True, it is nice being at a higher level of royalty just because of all the toys we keep bringing back from Seattle.”

“Sort of like we’re Hollywood celebrities isn’t it?”

“Yup,” said Jake. “Why is that so?”

“Think about it. I guess you are since I seem to be detecting something burning. This obviously indicates it’s a sensory organ that doesn’t get used that often.”

Jake took offense. “Ha, ha, very funny.”

“Winthrop is a great little town, but it’s kind of rural and isolated. Seattle represents the cutting edge of everything cool in the world of new toys.”

“True.”

“The two of us getting to spend part of our summers in Arlington exposes us to all the new stuff out there. Then we bring it back to the other kids in Winthrop.”

“Which automatically puts us on a higher publicity level.”

“Precisely. Remember those new “Hot Wheels” miniatures we got two summers ago?”

“Yup.”

“A week after we got back that kid in town who previously wouldn’t even walk across the street to piss on us if we were on fire suddenly becomes our new best friend.”

“Leonard Lector?”

“That’s the one. Boy was that guy sinister or what?”

“His eyes even looked creepy,” said Jake with a look of contempt only an adolescent could pull off.

“All he wanted to do is hang out and race cars with us.”

“What a fake.”

“Then you showed that new Xbox game to everyone at the youth center last year. Suddenly you’re more popular than the latest cat video on YouTube.”

“So hold onto all the stuff we get while we’re here in Arlington?”

“Well not everything. They’ll be selling sno cones in Hell before you see me wearing that pink T-shirt to school. As usual something didn’t click in Grammy’s mind when she bought that for me.

_______________

Actually what was going through the mind of Mildred Morgenstern wasn’t much different from that of any other grandmother. She was constantly thinking about the welfare of her son’s sons, and buying them any and all sorts of new and improved toys to add to their arsenal of playthings.

In the world of grandchildren gifts examples were epic. Originally it was just the occasional small toy or something Jonathan & Jakes’ mom could use to help raise the boys. Then things got strange.

Mildred walked into her son’s home in Winthrop one time and saw the boys ignoring a PBS cartoon about letters. Pretty soon both of them started getting all sorts of presents geared towards children learning their ABC’s. Only problem was that most of the new toys were focused on the two to six age range of kids. Jake was now seven and Jonathan was eleven at the time. Try telling that to a well intentioned, but somewhat misguided grandmother.

Next the boys received elaborately produced costumes from their grandmother. Mildred got it wrong with her intentions after seeing a Halloween photo Lily had sent from the smart phone to her mother-in-law. Jonathan was dressed as Captain Fantastic, while Jake dressed up as his trusted sidekick Cabin Boy. The costumes she soon sent her grandsons were beautifully designed and clearly involved a great deal of time and effort during their manufacturing phase.

Jonathan had decided to wear his Halloween get-up in a facetious attempt to point out how much he despised the Captain Fantastic character. Jake wore his Cabin Boy costume only because his older brother had bribed him with his dessert. Both boys complained profusely when their mother forced them to wear the Mildred Morgenstern versions of the suits for long torturous periods of time during the grandparent Christmas visit.

Before the pink T-Shirt present, Mildred’s most recent mismanaged attempt at gift giving was no less memorable. Both boys had progressed through an extensive skateboard phase. This included spending hours hanging out at the skate park and latching onto favorite products related to their latest obsession.

That’s exactly what it was too, “their latest obsession.” Jonathan had since moved onto the riding of high tech mountain bikes costing the equivalent of a month’s mortgage. Meanwhile Jake’s fancy had changed to video games when he wasn’t texting the latest gossip to Facebook friends or soon-to-be de-friending future enemies.

The skateboard paraphernalia kept coming and soon it was a pointless gesture telling her the latest changes in her grandson’s interests. Mildred was obstinate and a bit of a Luddite. She still refused to allow a computer or tablet in the house despite the protestations of her bedside companion of the past forty-seven years.

_______________

Since they hadn’t really gotten rid of any of the gifts within the past year, the collection had grown somewhat unyielding in scope. Lily Morgenstern decided the boys needed to unload some of it, or a basic cable company’s production unit would soon contact them. Wanting to film a new reality based program on the subject of extreme toy hoarding.

Instead Lily brought up the topic right after observing that Jonathan had spent 30% of his parent’s latest attempts at setting up a college fund on a new front wheel suspension for his bicycle. In his defense, Jonathan did have access to a small percentage of the college money collection. Therefore part of the blame should be placed squarely on the shoulders of Richard & Lily because of this.

We break in on the Morgenstern’s just after they’ve returned from another visit to the big city. The boys have acquired all sorts of new toys for the assemblage and their mom wants to cull the existing collection.

“I don’t know mom,” said a hesitant Jonathan. “Why should I?”

“Do we have to?” asked Jake.

Lily had a strange feeling both of her son’s were starting to inherit their father’s propensity for storing up anything and everything. “Don’t you think it’s getting a bit big boys? Maybe we should give away the toys you two don’t play with anymore. They’re just taking up space aren’t they?”

Jonathan disagreed. “Yeah, but I feel like we should hold onto the Lego blocks. I’m thinking I may need them if I end up choosing to study architectural design in college.”

“All five hundred and fifty thousand of them?”

“Yup. It’ll take that many to make a proper skyscraper design. Maybe more.”

“Yeah. He’ll need them to build a model of his country estate as well,” said Jake.

The boys were becoming dreamers firmly entrenched in all sorts of unrealistic fantasies. Also like their father. “Ok we’ll hold onto the Legos. Let’s get rid of the skateboard odds and ends. When’s the last time either one of you even rode one of those things?”

Once again Jonathan had to formulate a somewhat legitimate sounding excuse to put a stop to this rash set of actions. “We shouldn’t. I use the skateboard components to make minor repairs to my bikes.”

“But aren’t those two different things with totally nonuniform parts?”

“You’re able to modify everything don’t you bro.?” asked Jake.

“But I thought you only used brand new components for all the bicycles? The latest part you wasted a portion of your college fund on sure indicates that.”

“Not all the time mom, and we’ve been over this before. It’s my money so I should spend part of it the way I see fit.”

Jake wanted to butt in. “Yeah, where do you think we get it from? Dad still spends money on new stuff for his magic act. You haven’t put a stop to that yet mom. Why not?”

“I’ve tried. I’m constantly thinking of new ways to change your father’s mind.”

“I just watched a documentary about people who’ve held onto all the vintage toys in their collection,” said Jonathan. “Years later they re-sell selected items and end up rolling in the cash.”

“Sounds cool bro., think it’ll work?

“Definitely, we should hold onto all the toys we’ve already got, ok mom?”

Lily cringed, but unfortunately didn’t have much to say in order to repudiate the argument. “Well, not quite.”

“Hey,” asked Jake. “Why does Grammy keep giving us toys we don’t want anyway?”

“She loves you, unfortunately she has a real propensity for getting things slightly confused. She can’t help it.”

“So what’s a “propensity,” asked Jake.

Jonathan immediately jumped in; wanting to put his vast reservoir of knowledge on display. “That’s easy, when a person has a propensity, that means they’ve got a strong inclination to do something even though they can’t help it. They basically aren’t able to stop themselves.”

“Sort of like a fat guy who eats lots of ice cream.”

“Exactly. He doesn’t want to do it, but the guy keeps shoveling the stuff in his mouth. Can’t stop himself and his mind doesn’t really want him too either.”

“So does that mean this “propensity” thing will happen to us someday too?”

“Naaah. We’re still young. Propensity only happens to people when they get in their thirties.”

“That’s ancient. Their brain begins to short circuit doesn’t it?”

“Sort of works like that boys,” said Lily. “Don’t laugh, you’re pretty much guaranteed to get there someday yourselves.”

This got Jonathan feeling philosophical and he decided to do something they never do in D.C., compromise. “Ok mom, we’ll separate out the toys we don’t use anymore.” Then he winked in the direction of his kid brother as he said it, “But we want something in return.”

“Yeah, what’s in it for us mom?” said Jake. “Seems kind of crazy throwing all these valuable toys away.”

“Alright, we won’t discard the precious entities you probably haven’t touch in God only knows how long. Let me make a few calls and see what I can arrange.”

“Mom, promise you won’t dump a bunch of stuff when we aren’t looking will you?”

“Hadn’t thought about that.”

_______________

Convincing her son’s to part with the old components from their collection wasn’t going to be easy. Lily lied in bed that night tossing and turning in a fit of sleeplessness. She figured pulling it off would be akin to climbing Mount Everest in that new designer swimsuit she bought the previous week.

What she needed to do was devise a plan for giving away the toys that would have the boys feeling like they’d done something noble. Unloading the items in such a manner that the two of them would end up entertaining the thought of having carried out a chivalrous act. At least Jonathan would then feel like he was scoring points with the girls. Now that he’d reached that stage of his teen years, always a strong consideration.

Lily drove to the next town over and made a special trip to their Goodwill store. She figured visiting these folks might be a more effective strategy than calling or e-mailing. After all, the toy collection had now reached epic proportions, and just loading it up for disappearance purposes might be a “bust ass” situation.

Lily figured it would be better to have somebody else going through the headaches of doing the job. That way she’d have time to concentrate on the important task of assisting her husband with his latest attempts at a magic trick.

Just like Lily figured, management at the Mazama Goodwill was floored by the Morgenstern gesture. Not only were they about to receive a huge donation of toys, but the items would disappear fast too. This was partially due to the fact that most of the kids taking them home wouldn’t know, much less care that a particular toy happened to be the trendy new item four years ago.

Convincing her sons to part with their former treasures wasn’t as easy. At first Jonathan questioned the overall integrity of the Goodwill organization. Meanwhile, Jake also queried about Goodwill’s priorities, but in a different sort of way. He wanted to know why they carried anything that wasn’t considered new and cutting edge. Figuring it was obviously the mark of an organization that didn’t have its philosophies in the right place.

_______________

Just separating out the toys they wanted to give away had turned into a major undertaking. It took them three days of partitioning, and job might’ve lasted even longer. Jonathan finally caved on his earlier contention that many of the playthings needed to be retained. Feeling that sociologists would later point to them as a strong indication of superior creative minds at work.

Just after the first Goodwill truck drove away, Lily and the boys had an opportunity to discuss the situation. As usual the conversation was less than riveting.

“Kind of sad seeing our treasures vanish for the last time,” lamented Jake.

Jonathan totally agreed. “Definitely.”

“Get over it boys,” said Lily. Let’s be honest. The thought hadn’t even entered your mind to open that paint-by-numbers set Grammy gave you last Christmas. Another one of her perplexing gift purchases I assume.”

“Why did she give it to us in the first place?” asked Jake.

“Oh that,” said Jonathan. “I told her you and I used to like filling out coloring books on rainy days when we were younger. Then I mentioned that I had to do an art project for extra credit in school.”

“I can see why she bought that for you,” said Lily.

“Forgot to mention that I kept thinking of somewhat legitimate excuses to ditch school when we had to do the project without telling you.”

“So mom,” said Jake. “What you said about those Goodwill folks gives me a nice feeling. We just did a really cool thing.”

“We did didn’t we?” said his older brother “I almost wish we could figure out a way to give them stuff all the time. Does it really matter that the toy we just got is the latest trend or something that was hot two years ago. Once we give it away that’s a more satisfying feeling.”

“Glad that idea is finally sinking in for you two.”