Irving Thackerman Parking Lot Impressario (Short Story – Part II)

                                                                                 Word Count: 754

     Irving didn’t design each new parking structure since he didn’t have an architectural background, but he was knowledgeable about the geography of L.A.’s freeways. Thus he became a go-between for the architects and officials wanting to locate new enclosed car buildings. A new-parking facilities middleman as it were.

     This position proved to be Irving’s longest posting, as he would work for the new structures department until circumstances precipitated certain changes in his life. In the meantime, the next thirty-three years proved extremely productive.

      The new structures department built and phased into operation a series of parking facilities that closely emulated famous architectural sites throughout the world. Including a concrete Eiffel Tower where autos that parked towards the top of the tower won a lottery to do so, an Empire State unit, and a Taj Mahal-like facility. This model even included a reflecting pool, as did the Sydney Opera Houseparking duplicate-which was surrounded by a moat emulating the original’s harbor.  One of Irving’s colleagues even suggested they put crocodiles in the moat as a solution to gang activity threatening the facility.

     This form of parking structure design wasn’t without its share of controversy. Right after the Wailing Wall structure was completed, equal billing/hasty construction for a Dome of the Rock, Mormon Tabernacle, andVatican parking facilities took place.

     Then all Hell broke loose when it was discovered that the Washington Monumentparking facility was secretly sponsored by a sexual prophylactic company. Irving was forced to play diplomat in this situation, as he did during the religious parking wars of ’97-’98.

     The program proved to be extremely popular though. Construction of The Guggenheimparking structure was wildly successful. The Big Ben Parking unit even had a working clock, Finally, the Berlin Wall facility got constructed in record time because the parking bureau encouraged local youth to paint graffiti all over the outside of the structure. A wildly successful strategy.

__________________

     During all this time, Irving kept improving his knowledge of new and innovative ways to  construct automobile parking spaces. Each opportunity presented him with a greater challenge, and he began to relish problems with a kid-in-a-candy-store zeal. This still didn’t stop the higher ups in city government from deciding to transfer Irving once again. Bureaucracy being a major factor in many of their decisions; This time it sure felt like they had other motives at work too.

     “So the folks upstairs are giving you the boot?” asked Milo Hiaasen, Irving’s buddy, and person he always seemed to be bouncing ideas off of.

     Irving half-heartedly smiled. “Well not quite. They want me to take over a new department the city wants to create.”

     “Oh how exciting,” Milo was a master at speaking effeminately. “Do tell.”

      “Some of the big boys from the downtown office met with me on Tuesday. They’ve created a department that acts as a go-between for city planners and us worker bees in the outer parking bureau. “I’ll be headin’ up the whole shootin’ match,” as cowpokes used to say. Pretty nifty eh?”

     “I assume by nifty you’re referring to a pay raise?”

     “Actually we didn’t talk about that particular subject. In fact, the thought never even crossed my mind about how this is supposed to affect me.”

     “Well why not? Money ain’t everything, but it sure makes things a little bit more tolerable. Particularly when one has to shovel lots of shit.”

     All of a sudden, Milo’s enquiry got Irving to begin looking at things from a different

perspective. He reached across the lounge table for that last donut. Eating it might give

him a different outlook. “Maybe I should examine this from another angle. You got any ideas?”

     “Maybe I’m being paranoid, but the current situation tells me, “something smells rotten in the state of Denmark,” as Willie Shakespeare put it. I’ve got this friend who slaves away at three jobs in order to put his kids through college.”

     “How noble.”

     “I think so too. One of those jobs happens to be working as the night janitor at the city planning offices downtown.”

     “What you getting at?”

     “ I’ve always wanted to play detective, see how good I look in a fedora and trench coat. I’m going to tag along when he does his night shift this coming Friday. Do some sniffing to see if anything smells.”

End (Part II)