Adrenaline Only Takes you so Far
June 24, 2016
A Walk Through the San Juans
July 22, 2016
For all you people out there who want to read Parts I-IV chronicling the exploits of my writing and publishing the book of childhood memoirs, Parts I through IV of the adventure can found on this blog at the following posting dates: Part I – 2/6/15, Part II – 5/1/15, Part III – 8/21/15, and Part IV -3/4/16. Just plug in the date on this blog and you can read the essay I wrote at the time.
Meanwhile, here’s Part V for all you folks looking for the latest exploits. Have fun!!
Collecting The Laughs
Part V
In a lot of ways I feel like I’m leading a charmed existence, and this latest incident is a classic example of that. Last Friday I scheduled a book signing party at my friend’s art gallery here in Silverton for the volume of memoirs I’d written, and everything fell into place so nicely. Designed a great flyer to promote the party, then had it cleaned up and printed in full color by a professional graphic designer. Soon after that, I proceeded to flood this town with the mini posters by pinning them up all over the place. Arranged for a caterer to supply a nice appetizer tray for the occasion, and made arrangements for all sorts of other peripheral events to take place. Lots of people assured me they’d attend. A crucial element in order to insure the success of these types of shindigs as you well know.
Last, but certainly the most important ingredient, I placed an order for fifty extra copies of the book with my wholesaler. Made the order on Thursday, June 23rd, and received an email confirmation soon after, glowingly assuring me the books would arrive in my mailbox within 5-7 days. That’s when the nervousness kicked in big time as the waiting game began.
This game of patience is analogous to that movie where the teenager invites his friends to the house for an impromptu party while the folks are out of town. Soon fermented beverages miraculously appear out of thin air and this creates instant ######## out of certain individuals ingesting the liquid refreshments. Things get slightly out of hand, and the party soon breaks up. Luckily just before the cops make their ignominious appearance. Our protagonist cleans up as best as possible, just before the parental units are scheduled to return. He’s nervous as everything looks good, but we won’t know what the final verdict is till they’ve shown up and inspected the premises with a fine tooth comb. Things are tight, and you can cut the tension with a very dull butter knife.
This situation never happened to yours truly since I was basically a choirboy throughout my youth. I have seen the movie though, so this sort of gives me the authority to write extensively about the subject.
Thursday, June 30thhad me sautering over to the P.O. four times that day. The last one with me walking out of the place with a grim look plastered all over my face. Similar to that morose look your friend had right after they mistakenly flushed their pet goldfish down the toilet.
What should I do if the books don’t show up on time? I quickly started formulating a back-up plan where I’d have extra copies of the volume available. Tried to figure out a reasonably legitimate explanation for why there weren’t enough duplicates to sell and slightly damage by autographing. Maybe I could take people’s telephone numbers, fool them into buying the nonexistent book at a discount price, and look grim while I’m saying all this?
This strategy didn’t look like it would work so well since I tend to have a grin on my face most of the time. Hard to come up with a serious excuse in situations such as that.
Then it happened. At the last moment I decided to drive over to the P.O. while getting ready for the event, and what should be waiting for me but all those extra copies of the book. Life is almost too sweet in situations such as the moment I inserted that key to get the box of books.
Needless to say the party was a huge success. Lots of people, the catered plate was beautiful (and got almost totally wiped out), and two of my sisters helped organize the books so the display would look very stylish. Also for the continued advancement of my career as a writer, I sold almost every copy I had on hand.
Actually, that’s only one of the more beautiful things that happened with this book signing party. Just before wrapping up for the day and falling into the waiting arms of slumber that night, I took a half hour out to jot down a few sentences on the latest short story I’m writing. In a strange sort of way that’s the most wonderful thing that happened with this book signing.
