David G. Swanson’s Writing Biography (1/1/21-A new year, a different type of posting!!)

{Now for something TOTALLY DIFFERENT}: Many of the literary agents I send query material to, ask for all sorts of writing material in addition to the first 5, or 10 pages of a novel manuscript I’m actually querying. One particular agent recently asked for a brief writing biography., so rather than send her your standard sleep-inducing life-chronicle, I figured what the hell, and had some fun writing up a different type of biography last week. Here’s the result…

• WARNING!! WARNING!!!-This Biography is not your conventional type Bio. Individuals reading this may experience a chuckle, or two. David G. Swanson is not your typical individual: He happens to be a humorous writer/novelist who lives in the Southwest Colorado mountain town where he grew up, having moved back home to appease his deep love of the San Juan Mountains.  He delves in both non-fiction and fiction writing, with the only requirement being that the piece he’s working on at the time has to have a comedic/humorous tinge to it. This style of scribbling words on a page is the only requirement for what he does. He’s just that passionate about writing in this particular fashion, and the practice will continue till the day after they’ve finished shoveling soil onto his permanent dirt nap. Hopefully that day will not come for a while.
• He did not obtain his Bachelor of Arts & Sciences degree in creative writing from CU-Boulder, instead earning a B.A. in Environmental Biology. This is actually a good thing for his writing, because the environmental degree has opened more doors in the area of outdoor, blue-collar, type jobs. The B.A. has also dispelled the assertion that you can’t really find a job with only a B.A. in biology. It got him a position as a forester for the U.S. Peace Corps in Kenya, so for all you nay-sayers out there-naah-naaah-naaah…
• Mr. Swanson has won numerous regional awards and honorable mentions for his writing. He’s also been published in the local newspaper 53 times. This is nice for name recognition, but once again he’s confronted with the fact that the editor of the local newspaper pays him a sum of money for each essay equivalent to that of the Bhutanese Naval budget.
• 2015 saw Mr. Swanson take the publishing plunge (self-publishing anyway…) as the result of a book of childhood essays he put out titled, “Silverton Style.” This has proven to be a very enjoyable experience, and he plans to one day publish a follow-up book, “Silverton Style-The Adult Years.”. Reading the essays in this future publication could have some individuals questioning Mr. Swanson’s assertion that these essays represent, “Adult-style recollections and observances.”
• In Fall of 2017, he established a writing website (www.humorouswriter.com) which allows him to post short stories and essays on a bi-weekly basis to the site. On numerous occasions since then, he’s told his web developer who helped him build the site that the best thing the guy ever did was show him how to go in the backdoor/editing section of the site on a regular basis to post new material. Fortunately, and so far, the site has also aided in avoiding any lawsuits being filed against Mr. Swanson.
• Mr. Swanson participated in a regional story-telling forum in September, 2018 (Raven Narratives). This was a great deal of fun, and you’ll be happy to know that NO animals were injured through his participation in the event.
• Lack of anything consequential happening in 2019 from a writing perspective can be chocked-up to the ravages of the pandemic. Unfortunately, the CoVid-19 virus actually gained a foothold in 2020. This still makes the 2019 remark a sort of legitimate excuse, so he’s sticking to it.
• A major influence on his writing has proven to be a childhood and teenage comic book collecting phase. This earlier habit also serves another purpose, as the collecting habit will one day be used by psychiatrists as an explanation for Mr. Swanson’s possession of an extremely quirky/offbeat personality.
• This strange voice in the back of his mind keeps telling him to go the traditional route with his novel output (landing a literary agent, getting a major publisher, going the full nine yards with Social Media, etc., etc.). The search continues. Hopefully, this will happen before Armageddon occurs, which will definitely result in a major breakdown of society. Followed by large segments of the general population searching in a desperate attempt for fossilized Hostess Twinkies and irradiated Beef Jerky.
• It is hoped that the reading of this biography will NOT result in serious discussions to have Mr. Swanson committed to an asylum for the mentally handicapped. This may prove to be very difficult for him. Particularly if he does not have access to a computer for writing purposes during his commitment.