The Incredible Power of Magazine Articles + Imagination

Here’s an essay that talks about my love of exploring new and old environments. Right now I’m really hoping I can visit a new place soon. Maybe this fall?

Word Count: 1199

I love the simple pleasure that can only come from traveling to new places. Either that, or visiting locations you haven’t been to in a very long time. Unfortunately because of various financial constraints, I haven’t been able to do much wandering in the past few years. Fortunately, I’ve figured out a way to overcome this predicament. Relying on a vivid imagination to take me to all sorts of distant locations.

Incredibly powerful tool this creative thought thing. Allows one to put themselves smack dab in the middle of all sorts of distant locales you normally wouldn’t be able to visit. Also creates scenarios where you can’t even imagine wanting to, or much less desiring a journey to select Hellholes. We’ll get to that last one further into this essay. For now though, let’s concentrate on what imagination can do when you can’t physically visit a far flung places.

First let’s clarify a few vital points. I’m not talking about domestic travel, which I’ve had an opportunity to do a fair amount of in the last five-ten years. In country journeying here in America is relatively easy if you don’t have a deathly fear of flying on airplanes. Either that, or sitting in an automobile for an inordinate period of time. A mild price to pay since it basically results in the achievement of new heights in sheer boredom.

Been back and forth to the west coast a few times, explored the wonders of Austin and other cities in Texas, and had a chance to explore a few of the natural wonders here in the western part of the country. Sure, I wouldn’t mind spending time back in NYC or Boston, since I haven’t been to either of those places in quite some time. New Orleans and Chicago beckon since I’ve never been to either site, and I wouldn’t mind returning to D.C. to check out some of the monuments I haven’t had a chance to see. So many places to journey to.

All that stuff involves visiting a site close to home. A domestic site, and sooner or later I have no doubt I’ll eventually get to these areas of interest and wonder. What I really want to do though is visit a far-flung environment outside of the good ‘ole U.S. of A.. The kind of place a lot of folks talk about experiencing in person one day, but for one reason or another they never get around to it. Me on the other hand, hope to get to all sorts of exotic locales at one time during this eccentric existence of mine. For the time being though I can’t. Essentially I’m forced to visit various far away spots in other ways.

Since I’m one step below your quintessential boy scout in terms of not wanting to ingest various mind stimulants, I’ve taken to reading lots of magazine articles about exotic locales. The list is long and essentially endless. Everything from National Geographic and Outside, to Traveler. Doesn’t matter what the periodical is, as long as the article documents a person experiencing the culture of some distant environment.

Since I’ve developed my powers of imagination to a fairly advanced level, reading travel articles, and then envisioning myself in these places is easy. What it isn’t is me using those self-same powers of creative thought to place myself smack dab in the middle of an air conditioned bus tour. What exactly is an Air Conditioned Bus Tour?

A long, detailed-to-the-point-of-boring-the-reader definition is in order. During all of the exotic traveling my cousin and I have done to various parts of the world, the two of us refer to “air conditioned bus tours” with an intense distaste in our mouths. An ACBT is the type of vacation where a person visits a place as part of an over priced package tour. Everything is done for them including when the people are supposed to visit a site, how long they are supposed to spend exploring the place, what they buy, what they’re required to eat (I particularly despise this one, although there’s always lots of food when you’re participating in an ACBT). The hotel they stay at is also part of the booking, and every other incidental expense is included in the package. This of course, adds all sorts of hidden costs.

These secret cash outlays are paid for by the tour operator with certain hidden moneys set aside for the middle man, a percentage off the top for the operator themselves, and any extra costs also budgeted to cover the tour operator’s expenses at their office in Frostbite Falls, Minnesota.

Last, but certainly not least, at no time during the course of the ACBT will the participant have to interact with the local indigenous population. This includes (God forbid) having to learn a few words of the local lingua franca in order to get around. The tour operator will keep a tight wall separating the group from the local unwashed masses at all times.

When most Americans think of vacations at beach resorts, the first thought that pops into their head is that the trip has to be part of a package tour, a.k.a. an over-priced Air Conditioned Bus Tour.Sometimes whether they want it to be, or not. There isn’t any other way to do it, so if you’re going on vacation it has to be a package tour, right?

Why not save yourself a little bit of cash, take a bit of a chance, and make things up as you go along? Plan the trip, but don’t get too grounded in your itinerary like most ACBTs. Get to the country first, and then find a hotel. You’re only going to spend 2/3rds of the time you’re staying at the house of lodging in the throngs of dreamland anyway. Why does the place have to be a 5-star, cost one third of most folk’s monthly mortgage payments, temperature-controlled palace? As long as it’s clean, basic in its accommodations, and fairly cheap and simple, why do you need anything more? Definitely costs a lot less if you go the latter option for your lodging needs.

Going the non-ACBT route during your travels isn’t always the best option. For me, that train ride from Kigale, Uganda to Kampala immediately comes to mind. Definitely could have done without an entire train’s worth of passengers disembarking at 6:00 am and having a 14-year old soldier point his trusty AK-47 in our general direction during the inspection.

Enough preaching on my part. Then again, this essay puts me one step closer to my ultimate goal; having my readers reach a higher level of sheer boredom while reading my missives.

Speaking of reading, perusing articles about visiting exotic locales is always interesting and more often than not a great deal of fun. Just like the title of that 70s song though, there “Ain’t Nothing like the Real Thing Baby.” I’ve already started saving for the 2017 India trip. Airfare isn’t cheap. Do they even do ACBT’s in that part of the world? Even if they do, I’m not signing up for the package.