This past week, we hit what some consider to be the unofficial one-year anniversary of having to deal with a CoVid-19 Pandemic Lockdown. I actually didn’t write this essay and post it until mid-April of last year. Partially because at first, I didn’t think I could get a humorous essay out of the situation. Presently, I want to re-post last year’s essay this week.

Because of my ski area job, my age, and the grocery store job, I’m technically categorized as an essential worker. Which means I got both shots of the Modernavaccine way back in early February. When you think about that, and the fact and a lot of people in this country are still having to wait on some sort of vaccination, in a lot of respects I’m pretty damn lucky.

I never expected we’d still have to be dealing with the pandemic a year later though. Here we are unfortunately…

Word Count: 867

The Self-Isolation

Conundrum

The Corona Virus Pandemic has altered everything about modern society. Not the least of which is how people go about their daily lives. What used to be considered “normal” behavior now seems like a thing of the past. Strangely enough, a past that feels like it happened a decade ago, rather than just a scant two-three months ago.

Speaking of which, one thing its really altered is the concept of time. Since the Lockdown went into effect, does it really matter whether or not a project I wanted to take care of yesterday, didn’t get done till later? In fact, so what if it isn’t completed till next week, or even next month? “Procrastination”, as a result of this whole CoVid-19 lockdown? Some would argue that we just get rid of the word entirely from the English language.

Then it became self-evident that society might have to go into some sort of self-isolation, with people partially, or even totally isolated within their houses. The first thought that went through my head? Any sort of adaptation on my part wouldn’t be too much of a problem. Right? Wrong…

At first, I figured that because I spend a great deal of each day on my own anyways, be it writing at the computer, reading, or watching the occasional YouTube video or movie, isolation at home wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe I’d actually try to be a bit more aware of those around me, instead of living in my own little world. For the most part though, business as usual. That philosophy went straight out the window within the first week of the lockdown. If anything, I began to crave more human contact-working within the parameters of trying to social distance in the first place.

I started out with the little things, looking forward to those Post Office journeys. Going to work at the local grocery store each day. Vacuuming the rug for the tenth time in the last week. (got to get that errant pebble). Going for a walk whenever this valley wasn’t doing its usual March/April weather patterns of being more schizophrenic than a psychiatrist’s most psychosomatic patient. These measures worked in a sort of partial manner. Along with preparing meals (which I’ve never liked to begin with), I’ve learned to adapt.

At various times in the past I’ve made disparaging comments about the highlight of some Silvertonians’ week happening to be taking their trash to the dumps when the transfer station is open on Wednesday and Saturday. Their own personal lives being just that intellectually stimulating. Sadly enough, I’ve actually fallen into this ignominious (or proud depending upon one’s perspective) category myself. Jumping into the car, getting halfway there only to discover I’ve forgotten the bag of trash & recyclables, flipping a U and driving back to the house, and finally getting to the dumps and throwing that bag into the crusher. This has become a great highlight of my day mid-week and on every Saturday. This trash delivery philosophy strongly indicates to me that I should be highly adaptable once I’ve finally moved to that isolated fishing village in Greenland. Then again, that’s all because I’ve developed a real hankering for being trapped inside, and a huge taste for raw seal blubber dipped in Sea-Salt.

I like to tell folks that the reason I like watching certain television sitcoms is because I use their influences as vital research material for my writing. Now because of the CoVid-19 lockdown, I’ve become highly addicted to watching late night talk show comedians off my computer. This is sort of like endlessly watching SNL (Saturday Night Live) YouTube highlights (also on my computer). In a moment of weakness, it really wouldn’t be that difficult for me to spend 4 to 6 hours glued to the monitor.

“Catholic Guilt” keeps me from doing this, so I’m undertaking a variety of home improvement projects. Even this has become somewhat limited, owing to the fact that I’ve never been that mechanically inclined in my life. As an acquaintance once put it, “David Swanson using assorted Power tools could make for a very good horror film.”

Luckily, using a paint brush, or tacking up another picture on the wall isn’t that dangerous, so I’ve really taken to this. The phenomenon was happening even before the Corona Virus Lockdown, and now it’s gotten even more extreme. All in an attempt to make my place look nicer. Then again, my Peace Corps buddy in Denver saw a picture of my upstairs study and said it looked like, “A Man-Cave on Steroids.” One drawback to being a bachelor I suppose?

Two weeks ago on Easter Sunday I walked out of my condo. and chanced upon the next-door neighbor’s as they were returning from a walk. Their two kids are 3 and 5, and as I yelled out “Happy Easter” to them, the 5-year old ran up to give me a big hug. Instead, I shed a tear as I turned around and walked away from her. Some things about this whole Corona Virus pandemic have been a hoot to poke fun at. For the most part though, this whole situation sucks.